Figuratively Speaking

This evening my husband and I went out for dinner with friends. When I ordered a fajita salad the waiter said, “It’s a little spicy.” I like a “little” spice but his use of the word sounded like a warning. I started to ask for clarification but in the end decided to be adventurous and placed my order. The dish was delicious but from my point of view, it was very spicy.

I was able to pick up on the subtleties of language and was forewarned but many of my students would have had a difficult time weeding through the words to understand the waiter’s intent. That first bite of fajita salad would have been surprising to them!

Many words and phrases have a variety of meanings and children sometimes struggle to interpret what is actually being said. Imagine the picture that might pop into a child’s mind when he hears a parent talking about a decision to be made and then says, “I’m on the fence.” In school it is all the more important that children comprehend the words they read and hear if they are to succeed academically.

A wonderful way to teach the meaning of figurative language is by reading books with your child, books such as the Amelia Bedelia stories. They are plentiful and I’m certain you can find a few at your local library. You and your child will laugh at the misadventures of this very literal-minded housekeeper who, when asked to, “dust the house”, sprinkles dust all around the living-room and when baking a sponge cake – well, I bet you can imagine the first ingredient.

Speaking of ingredients, I could use a little ice water to cool my mouth after the little spice from my fajita!

Post Turkey-day

Thanksgiving is over, the company has left and now I’m back at work, enjoying the stories my students tell of their holiday. Turkey was a huge topic as was pumpkin pie, ice cream, peanut butter sandwiches (go figure) and visiting relatives. Some of my students; however, could not tell any details of their week away from school. Their faces lit up when I asked about their vacations but that was about as far as their communication skills could take them.

Communication problems come in a variety of packages. There are those adorable little errors when children say “fwee” for “three”, (adorable when a child is three but not so cute as they grow older). There are language delays where children find it hard to put their thoughts into coherent sentences and say things like, “Me goed to store.” And there are those frustrating language disorders where children have trouble processing information, organizing thoughts, and following directions.

One afternoon I saw such a student walking around the campus looking very lost. He was trying to follow his teacher’s directions but he had no idea where he was expected to go and he didn’t have the skills to ask for clarification. He just meandered around the campus, apparently hoping something would turn up. He certainly looked relieved when I spotted him and helped him find his way. The same student used to pop into my room three times a day and ask, “Is it time for speech?” He has speech/language therapy two times a week, after his lunch recess but he’d check in with me every day after every recess. His teacher solved the problem by giving him a visual schedule so he can always see what is happening next. He’s only 6 ½ years old and has plenty of time to learn life management skills but his teacher is giving him great supports for the classroom. Many children would benefit from a picture schedule so they can better manage their day – I don’t know how I’d function without my appointment book!

I’m glad my student is able to follow his schedule, but I must admit, I miss that little face peeking into my room three times a day. 

Happy Thanksgiving!

The fragrance of apples, cinnamon and cloves drifts up from my kitchen as I write. Earlier today I turned on our crock-pot, filled to the brim with chopped apples and spices. I love the smell of apple-butter cooking almost as much as I love the taste when it’s finished. This might not seem to have much to do with communication but the aroma of holiday cooking and baking communicates plenty to me. Holiday time provides abundant opportunity to build your child’s vocabulary as he helps you shop or prepare food, count the silverware (I mean before the company comes, not after they leave!) or clean up when the meal is over.

One activity from my book, Talking Time is perfect for this time of year and I’m happy to share it with you.  

Activity 88

Baking Cookies

If you are willing to take the time and put up with a little mess, you can make baking time a great learning experience for your child. Have him help make cookies. He can pour in the measured ingredients, mix and roll out the dough, and listen for the oven timer. Baking provides a good opportunity to talk about “wet” and “dry,” “fast” and “slow,” and “full” and “empty” as you mix and stir the ingredients; numbers by counting as you pour out the ingredients, and shapes as you cut the cookies in various shapes. Kneading the dough helps your child improve fine motor skills. You can also talk about how the cookies smell and taste.

I hope your Thanksgiving is full of good things – fun, family, friends and fabulous food. I’d better stop writing and go downstairs to stir the apple-butter.

Social Communication

One of my autistic students was doing so well in school he didn’t seem to need my assistance any longer. His reading skills were outstanding, he could answer questions about what he read with amazing accuracy and he was at the top of his class in math. His communication skills were stronger than most of my students (even though his voice quality was a bit robotic.) The other second-graders seemed to like him (who wouldn’t, he didn’t bother anybody!) I was in a quandary when it came to writing goals for him; he met all of his previous ones. He seemed ready to be dismissed from speech. But first I decided to watch him in a few social situations and so I observed him on the playground. A group of second-graders were crowded around the swing sets. My student stood a few feet back, staring at the swing he obviously wanted to use - obvious to me that is. Other children rushed right by him and formed a line leaving him off to one side. He didn’t know how to read the social “rules” of the swing-set group. Since he didn’t like standing close to others, he stepped back, away from the forming line. He stood so far back that he never made it into the line let alone to the front of it. He needed help navigating the social norms. It could also be said; the others needed help in reading his unique way of communicating.

There are times we all could use a little help communicating our needs and wants, and help in reading the subtle communication of those around us, so that no one is left off to the side.

Eyebrow-Raising Errors

A few years back, a young mother dropped by my office. She was concerned because her son, Nick, could not pronounce his “tr” sounds. I assured her she shouldn’t worry since he was only 3 ½ years old, and many children can’t pronounce “r” sounds before they’re seven. She didn’t seem comforted by my assurances - not at all. She went on to explain that when he tried to say “tr” it came out “f”. “Well that’s different,” I agreed. “Nick is reducing the cluster ‘tr’ to one sound. He probably reduces other clusters. Does he say, ‘top’ for ‘stop’?”

            “Yeeess” she drew the word out like she was reluctant to agree. I could tell I wasn’t giving her the help she was looking for.

“That is a phonological process,” I told her, “‘cluster reduction,’ most children go though a similar stage. He’ll probably outgrow it by the time he is four.”

“But, you don’t understand,” she had a pleading look on her face. “I don’t think we can wait until he is four. He always says ‘f’ for ‘tr’.” Her face turned red and she lowered her voice. “And he loves to talk about trucks.”

There are other phonological processes that cause parents concerns but this particular error raised a lot of eyebrows! I gave Nick some help with his “t” sound and soon he was saying “twuck” for “truck”. He wasn’t ready to pronounce “r” but the improvement eased some of his mother’s stress.

A few weeks later she asked if I could help Nick with his “s” sounds. I explained that like “r” the “s” sound is a later developing consonant so she shouldn’t worry. “But he uses a “d” for “s”. Once again, I admitted that was a different sort of problem. “That’s the phonological process called ‘stopping’. He’s stopping the airflow so his “s” sounds like ‘d’. Does he say ‘berry’ for ‘very’?”

“Yes, but I’m not worried about that. Could you just correct his ‘s’ so it doesn’t sound like a ‘d’? He really needs help – his brother’s name is, Sam!

Aaauuurrrrgggh!

Aaauuuuurrrrrggggggh! My hard-drive crashed! Three years of data disappeared in a cloud-white screen. Awwwwough  (Try to imagine the anguished sound of wailing which I have no idea how to spell).

What does this have to do with speaking and reading you might ask? It has a lot to do with communication, which entails speaking and reading. It also had a lot to do with my ability to post a blog, read my emails, and generally stay focused on life around me as I waited to hear back from our local computer repair person. He was definitely my hero when he retrieved most of my data and moved it onto my husband’s laptop. We can deal with sharing a computer now that I know all my old documents are not lost.

This experience made me think of how important it is to be able to communicate frustration. And I did - to my coworkers, my family and Chuck – the computer guy. I didn’t punch anyone, I didn’t throw things (however much I felt like it) and I didn’t kick anybody. I have seen many young children resort to those tactics when they were not able to use words to communicate their own frustrations or their wants and needs. One student wanted to play with another child but when she tried to ask, she wasn’t understood so she resorted to pulling on his sweater, trying to drag him to the swings. That didn’t go over well.  In fact, the other child viewed it as aggressive behavior and soon they were both rather aggressive. Her teacher, parents and I worked together to give her some pictures to use to communicate in a less troublesome manner. Many months have passed and now I’m pleased to see her use her words more effectively and to see her interacting with friends on the playground in socially appropriate ways.

I’m also pleased I was able to use my words regarding my computer frustrations without hurting anyone. Now, if I can just learn how to spell them!

Tales from Taos

Today I was reminded how important speech and language skills are in passing along culture. School is not in session this week and for our Fall Break my husband and I are vacationing in New Mexico. This afternoon we visited the Taos Pueblo and met a man named Richard who lives there. He was born sixty-two years ago in a little room on an upper floor of a three story adobe above the shop where he was selling his silver necklaces. He told us he had spent his childhood in the pueblo and loved growing up there. I didn't see any crops nearby so I asked if they used to cultivate the land. “We had lots of crops when I was a kid,” he said and he told a story of riding a wagon filled high with grain which toppled over when they took a turn too sharply. His dad was furious and it took he and his brother a long, long time to reload the wagon. His face looked younger as he spoke and he laughed at the memory. I asked if his family and community had many stories they passed along through the generations and he shared one of his grandfather's – one that became his own. Sitting around a campfire one evening his grandfather solemnly spoke of meeting a giant up in the hills surrounding Taos. Robert hadn't believed it was real when he was a child but one day, as an adult, he met the giant himself, or one of its relatives. He was hunting alone in the hills and shot a deer. In the early hours of the morning, he heard a noise and smelled a powerful odor. He turned and saw the giant about 10 yards away. It made a horrible half-scream, half-growl and Richard froze, gun in hand. Paralyzed by fear he was unable to lift his rifle but he could speak. He called out to the giant and told it he meant no harm, had no desire to shoot it, and was only passing through the hills. The giant charged down the hill toward the deer that lay a short distance away. It didn't stop but merely reached down, lifted the deer, and flung it over its shoulder and continued running up and over the hill.

These stories added a dimension to our understanding of Taos. To the beauty of New Mexico was added a sense of the culture and history made personal. Now whenever I wear my handcrafted necklace, I'll think of the story given to us by Richard. I'll think of the hairy giant that roamed the hills above Taos. I'll also think of the stories that are passed down from one generation to the next and connect us to one another.